Post-Op Wake-Up

Not gonna lie. Weight loss surgery hurts like a motherfather. I thought I would be able to document my post-surgery feelings and pain, but it hurt so much, I couldn’t even write. My mind was consumed by the simplest things: eating ice chips, walking and pain management. And God-forgive-me Bravo TV. (Only good channel in the hospital other than food porn and news.)

I’ve honestly never been in this much pain for a prolonged period of time. And I’ve given birth the old-fashioned way, vaginal with no epidural. So, to say that WLS is alot of pain is no joke. I feel that other surgeries, yes, are painful, but abdomen surgery is the worst. A good portion of your body, the part of your body that controls whether or not you can stand up straight or turn to look for approaching danger, when that is compromised…you’re at an extreme disadvantage. I can’t bend over. I can’t lay on my side in bed (my favorite thing to do). I can’t walk across the room without feeling as though my innards might come spilling out like the final scene from Braveheart. You know what I’m talking about.

So, I’m feeling a little out of sorts.

The drugs! Oh, the drugs. The drugs are nice, but oh-so temporary. Oxycodone is so tasty. Quick, floaty, highly addictive. But extremely temporary. The pain returns with little warning and most of the time, the oxy makes me sleepy. Which is good on some level. At least I can drift off to sleep on my back in bed with my CPAP mask on which would never happen without drugs.

When I came home from the hospital, I felt like I’d been kicked in the gut 20 times by a Colombian drug cartel with metal-tipped boots. I know that seems pretty specific, but I’m on drugs. I still feel that way. I’ve imagined their long, pointy cowboy boots playing soccer with my tummy. I know it’s the separation of my gut muscles and poking around my stomach, cutting it in half and reattaching my intestines. I know. But I feel that those cowboys could have been slightly more accurate somehow? Let’s just say, I feel butchered.

I know everyone feels this way after surgery. But no one told me that. It’s like having a baby, “Oh, yeah, there’s some pain! But it’s worth it!” I gotta say, the first day after surgery? And the next? And the next? Wasn’t worth it. “Worth it” was not what I was thinking.

Every day, by some miracle, I do feel better. In very small ways. Although, my back muscles are starting to ache from compensating for my stomach muscles AND I started my period. I can’t even comfortably bend over to successfully manage that situation. Some day, I will laugh about all that I’m feeling. But it will be a day when my laughing muscles aren’t so sore.

I am not down past my pre-surgery weight yet, but I am losing from post-op weight. They pumped me full of liquids, there was swelling and inflammation as well. Day 2 of post-op, I was 431. Today, Day 4, I am 428.8. So, that’s something. I’m barely eating anything, so I think it should start falling off any time. The more I can move around, the more calories I can burn. I anticipate, by month 2, I should be feeling almost back to normal. We’ll see.

If you’re considering WLS, just know, it’s a long haul and some days are not going to feel “worth it”. It’s alot of pain. But so is living with super morbid obesity. Pain can’t be the obstacle to being healthy. You’ll have pain one way or another. You get to choose which pain it will be. Good luck!!! At least now you’ll know what you’re in for. 🙂

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