Mrs. Clean

I am a poet, writer, actor, artist, creative, whatever. But I’m also a HOUSEWIFE! Super housewife, to be precise. I am a super-clean freak which no one would know because you can’t come in my house. Germs! Dirt! Shoes! Get out.

I had to talk myself down off the ledge of fanaticism a few years ago. I saw a commercial for a laundry detergent.

“Living brings it in.” It being dirt.

Fine! You’re right. Life is messy and I can’t make my daughter feel like a surgeon prepping for a heart bypass. But. I still have issues.

BUT! I have a damn clean house. 🙂

If I let you in the door, you could eat off the floor. DON’T!! Gah! What’s wrong with you? Get out.

Anyway, my penchant for neatness is an occasional (constant) sticking point for my husband. STICKY, EW! He would rather relax and not worry so much about dirt touching things, but I can’t let everything go. I have some pools of worry left over and I can’t seem to stop swimming in them every now and then.

BUT! I couldn’t care less about the bathtub. I clean the bathroom sink once a week, the toilet every few weeks, and the bathtub…NEVER! It takes me a few months to get around to the tub. Okay, 6 months. It doesn’t get real funky and I do wash the shower curtain every month or so. So, today, I cleaned the tub because it was kind of funky. Soap-scummy. A little cakey.

I hate getting down on my hands and knees to scrub the tub. That’s probably why I leave it. And no, I don’t want to use the shower spray to elongate my clean time. I just don’t care.

Wanna know a great way to clean your tub with no effort, you lazy housekeepers??! Buy an inexpensive bottle of toilet cleaner. Yes! Toilet cleaner.

Splurb some on the sides and bottom of the tub, wait 2-5 hours on the couch while you blog and eat bon-bons, then take your toilet brush and give it a little scrub. I sat on the side of the tub, and with my longer-handled brush, didn’t have to stoop or bend as much. Clean as a whistle!! Dang! Me likey.

You know the bottom of the tub that has a non-slip surface? Well, over time the non-slip can become slippy-slip. Well, it becomes less non-slip over time from soap, dead skin (EW!) and other slippery shower materials becoming lodged in the rough, textured floor. Well, our’s is rough again! Crazy clean. You will not slip in this shower/tub. Mainly because I won’t let you in my house. Why are you showering in my tub? Get out.

Try it! You might be surprised. By how much you don’t have to work.

NOTE: This toilet bowl cleaner did discolor my tub stopper slightly. It was chrome, now it’s a goldish color. Oh well! It’s clean gold. Plus, it didn’t discolor the metal ring around the tub drain. So?? Don’t know why the stopper discolored. Probably a cheaper material. Take your drain plug out if you like. Then use something plastic to stop up the tub so you don’t lose your cleaner while it’s soaking. Good luck!

Can’t wait to tub it without getting even dirtier.

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