I am a complete and utter failure.

No. I’m not. But I play one in the job market. I didn’t get a job that I really wanted.

I’ve been looking for a job for over a month now. I’ve lost track of how many jobs I’ve applied for. I was driving the taxi, but I didn’t feel safe (drunk, belligerent, physically violent riders and creeps in the middle of nowhere) and the pay was terrible. 12-hour shifts and I would only bring home about $50-ish. Granted, I was on-call, so I wasn’t running the whole time. But when they call, you have to go. So it’s not like I was doing much else when I was on.

Sometimes, I would sit down to relax and do something else for a few minutes and boop-boop-boop, I’d get a call. No biggie. Most of the customers were super nice and good tippers. But I was making less than $5/hour.

I started thinking, “I could work a 4-hour shift at McDonald’s, 5 days a week and bring home more than I’m making now. Customers got weird after a certain time of the day and I cut my finger on the jenky driver door handle. The hours were killing me, health-wise, and it was causing conflict in our family. Gassing up in a downpour and standing ankle-deep in a water puddle solidified the sucky-ness of the job and I called to tell the guy, “I’m done. It doesn’t make any sense.”

He understood. But now? I’m jobless.

I have to make this work. For my family. I need a job.

I applied for this awesome graphic designer job at a local college and they called today to say I didn’t get it. Oh well. But dang! I gave a great interview. One of the best I’ve ever given. It just wasn’t meant to be, I guess.

If something doesn’t happen soon? Mickey D’s it is. Until I can get something real. I don’t want to do that, but I have to make rent. I even applied to the local movie theater. They haven’t called. There’s no other option. We can’t go home. We’ve sold everything of value. We have to have a car and shelter.

Thank God, Guy has his security job. Without it, we’d be headed back home to live in someone’s basement.

I love writing, but it doesn’t pay the bills. I’ve even tried to find freelance jobs at online writing hubs. No luck. I’ve tried freelance graphic design in the same context.

Not sure why, but I’m just not finding anything. They said I had an impressive portfolio (the woman in the interview raved about my tagline, yes, I came up with it, on my Opengarden Restaurant billboard “If the ingredients on your plate were any fresher, they’d still be growing!”–she said, twice, “I LOVE that.”) , but they went with someone else. Huh?

I have two options next week. I hope something works.

I haven’t lost heart yet, but it doesn’t seem great. I’ve been here before and the good news? I’m still here. Chin up, Maggio. Someone wants you.

I just don’t know who that is yet! 🙂


8 thoughts on “I am a complete and utter failure.

  1. I completely understand your frustrations and concerns with the job market. Just a thought, but it sounds like you’ve got a great spread of skills that could be used in the Education sector somewhere. It may be worth enquiring about work as a Teacher Aide at one of the more local schools?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes! thank u. good idea. I have checked, I’ve applied for a couple teacher’s aide positions, haven’t heard anything. it’s weird! everything is super slow!! but thank u. i’d take anything over crew member at the local fast food dealer. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Something that saved my butt when I was actually homeless was a job at a call center. They pay for training and the work really isn’t that bad – plus you get to sit down in air conditioning, and most jobs aren’t sales jobs anymore. Check out indeed.com or one of the other job sites, and there are plenty of entry level jobs out there and some of them hire fairly quickly.

    My thought would be to get a job at Micky D’s or some place like that for the ultra short term, use that to get a better job at a call center or maybe a teaching gig, then while you are doing that look for something really good.

    If you are lucky enough to live in a part of the country that has a Centene or Cenpatico office, apply there. The hiring process is lengthy but it’s SO worth it, with pay and how you are treated. Give them my name, Rohvannyn Shaw, and head over to Centene.com if you want to try them. (A bit of a shameless plug, I know, but I don’t own the company and they really are great.) Anyway, sorry for the long comment. Good luck to you!

    Liked by 2 people

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