I don’t usually do this…

I don’t usually ask questions, but I’m curious.
Need or want?

Thanks for any comments. I truly want to know what people think. Please keep it science book appropriate. Thanks! lol

If it’s a need, why? What’s ur theory or evidence?

I’m not just doing this for stats. LOL I asked my FB friends as well. I’ll share my findings. 😀

11 thoughts on “I don’t usually do this…

  1. Well that’s a good question. I’m going to say need. I need to feel that intimate and personal relationship with my partner. It makes us stronger as a couple and it greatly reduces stress! Good Luck with this one!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. thank u! i agree. lol it’s something i never gave much thought to. we just do it, but why? i guess my main thinking was if ur single, should u find a partner, long term or not, and take care of this need? because, do people get crazy if they are not loved or cared for in this specific area? i don’t know. wanted to ask the question at least. do some people ignore their “need” and does that lead to bitterness, resentment and insanity? lol

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Well, since you asked for science book appropriate 😋 – need.

    My theory:
    The mating drive is something we’re born with, and no other animals but humans even have a concept of voluntary celibacy (and historically that concept has worked abysmally for us, too).

    I’m not talking about temporary abstinence due to circumstances, such as other survival instincts taking priority (food, shelter), or illness, or simply the unavailability of a suitable mate (in case of the latter, one can … erm… improvise. Even without the marvels of modern technology).

    My evidence:
    The millions (billions?) of dollars spent on porn, on dating websites, on *cough* extramarital activity websites.
    The fact that “sex sells”, even if we’re talking margarine or dinnerware. We’re hardwired to respond to it.

    Human history. Societies, religions, have tried to regulate the human sex drive for millennia. And humans found creative ways around the rules, always. Or just flat out broke them.

    The only thing humans pursue as vigorously as sex is food. And sometimes they’ll even forego the latter if a desirable mate is within reach. If it were merely a “want”, we’d never expend this ridiculous amount of energy on it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. brilliant! thank u for such a thoughtful response. i agree with much of this. our drive becomes distorted in some ways. it’s something i never really gave much thought. it always felt like a want because it’s so enjoyable. in our modern age it never seemed like a chore to perpetuate the species. it was a choice. but i’m thinking it is a need and that people who don’t have regular sex might go crazy if they aren’t loved physically on a regular basis. i see so much repression, especially in older generations. thank u so, so much for ur very thorough, thoughtful answer! great stuff. and funny!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. it always felt like a want because it’s so enjoyable

        Then you have a suitable mate, lucky you 😉
        But yes it’s a bit distorted, because in part thanks to our Puritan heritage we balk at talking about sex, even the simplest biological functions.

        If you look at history, a lot of times (and in many cultures) sex was often a chore for the female population because her enjoyment was secondary and/or not required. Interestingly, it’s precisely in those societies where women often were deemed ‘hysterical’ and exhibited what we today would call mental issues (Victorian Age being a prime example).
        Which makes me think that there is a connection between a balanced sex life (or even just the ability to socialize/bond and have regular physical contact without shame) and our health. That goes for men and women.

        Glad I could contribute to your research 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      2. i totally agree with your analysis! i hesitated in even asking the question because i know so many people who would be offended at even talking about sex. i’ve openly talked about sex with my daughter from a young age so that she wouldn’t have a distorted view. we talked about what a relationship should look like and not to settle for less than something healthy. it’s helped! i can’t believe it’s still such a taboo topic. i appreciate ur in-depth insight and remarks. thanks!


      3. i feel sorry for any women who aren’t enjoying their intimate lives with their partners. how sad! 😦 but i do remember what it’s like. lol


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