Do something stupid.

Okay, I’m about to do something stupid!

I’ve said this way too many times in my short adult life. But I’m going to try and start my own business.

I haven’t been able to find a job down here in Florida. Nothing. So I’m going to try and start a small event planning company and throw murder mystery salon/spa parties for rich retirees (I wrote an adult role-playing game for ladies that takes place in a spa. It’s a murder mystery, The Updo Salon and Spa!) And try to drum up business for my graphic design as well.

I’m going to a women’s business and professional dinner next Tuesday. I’m scared to death.

I think I’m good enough and smart enough to do this. I just don’t know if I have the energy. I was sick for so long. I’ve been sick for 5 years. Where did my moxie go?

At 44, I don’t know if I have the stamina to keep up with a growing business. Can I throw a party? Can I handle the emotional toll it will take? I’ve tried to start my own endeavors before, but not something this big and not something this important. This would be my income. But what do I have to lose, right?

Wish me luck! Mainly with the women I will be leading. It will be like trying to herd drunk cats through an adult costumed role-playing game. Lord, help me!

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Irma: Lucky

The photo above is from just before the hurricane hit. You wouldn’t have known anything was happening. We were in a well-protected school, rated to withstand a Category 5 hurricane. We chose that shelter by luck.


We had our power restored  by the first day after Irma hit. We were lucky, so very lucky. But we didn’t have an internet connection, so I’ve been jones-ing for blog time. I’m back, baby!

First, let me say, thank you, Florida Power and Light! You are working hard to restore everyone and you had us back up the next day. Thank you so much!

Second, everyone we encountered during Irma was safe and as kind as people in a crisis can be.

Third, when we got back to our place, everything was just as we left it. The only damage was a few eaves blew out and exposed the attic/under-roof. No big deal. The condo association will repair. We were so very lucky. Luckiest McLucks-a-lot. Unbelievable.

Had Irma not swerved at the last minute up the coast and taken a hard right, we would have lost everything, undoubtedly. I can’t express how thankful I am.

I am troubled by the undeniable climate change. I am troubled at our growing dependence on things and phones and computers. I am troubled by the chaotic world around us. But at the same time, I am deeply humbled. I am appreciative of those people in a dark world who carry light with them. The people who try to make the world a better place. The people who try to make sense of the world around them. The people who rush to the trouble, and carry out the survivors.

We met a Red Cross volunteer. He seemed to be our personal angel. He would check on our family, update us with news, and even brought us cookies. 🙂 He was truly the embodiment of Christ. So thankful for him. His wife is 7 months pregnant. That is quite a lady to let her husband help hurricane victims when she’s about to give birth! Donate to Red Cross if you are inclined.

Our daughter had to spend her birthday in a storm shelter/elementary school. On the cold, hard cafeteria tile. Surrounded by strangers. No one even realizing someone had a birthday. (I thought about finding a treat and lighting a candle, but decided not to embarrass my 14 yo, LOL) Everyone just hoping to live through Irma. We tried to make it as good/fun as possible for her, staring down the threat of a potential Category 4 hurricane. But it was tough.

But we are here. We are alive. And we have interwebs! No injuries, no damage, no problems.

Irma hit at around 8-9 pm Sunday night.
We left the shelter around 7 am Monday morning.
Got home around 9 am Monday morning.
Had water to shower. (Had gone without shower since Friday morning, gross!)
Got power back on around 7-8 pm Monday night.
Got internet back today at around noon!
We are whole again. Still praying for anyone who is still out of something.

Tonight, we make up for cafeteria tile and storm sheltering. We’re going rollerskating! Her favorite. Happy birthday, Lil. You made it to 14! and then some. 😉 I couldn’t be prouder or more thankful than I am for such a wonderful young lady. ❤

Irma-geddon

Blogging from my phone. Ok after Irma. No injuries. No damage. Miraculous!!! Praise God. No internet.

Wanted to post some haikus.

 

Water drops on glass.

Hurricane outside our door.

Longing in my heart.

 

Sigh. Soaked in boredom.

The storm is at my door now.

Relief that it’s here.

 

In my opinion,

You’re not a Floridian

Until your first storm.

Yabba-dabba-doo!

I made this neck-a-less last nite. Another one! Crafty B is in da house!

necklace 3.jpg

It’s twine for cord, big ol’ Wilma Flintstone polka dot beads, a salvaged key chain dangle, and a beautiful snaggle-wad of turquoise. All things I found or bargin-binned. Boho, baby!

Would you wear this? Is it too weird? It hangs super low which I love, but I also made the cord slide-able so you can adjust the size. I love shabby chic/different-looking jewelry. I love it when I get compliments from people.


Stranger: Love your neck-a-less!

Me: I made it!

Stranger: *looks at me like a necklace-making bohemian goddess* You made it??! No way. Cool! Let’s be friends.


LOL I live for those conversations. I would make jewelry for a living, but my husband might kill me. Strangle me with one of my homemade necklaces. Because of the craft space required for such an endeavor. Plus, doesn’t everyone make jewelry now? Pinterest-loving housewives across the country making enough jewelry to choke a bedazzled pony.

Can’t wait to wear my new belly bouncer!

YuleTIDE: A Very Beachy Christmas

We found this when we arrived at the beach yesterday! Love it.

beach christmas.jpg

Some vacationers must have found this washed up drift wood and fashioned this temporary art. So funny! Love the shell ornaments. It’s even got pine cones! LOL

No presents under the tree though. This beach offering is present enough, I say! What a great Christmas Labor Day on the coast.

This is what Florida Xmas looks like, I guess! LOL

Dogs in Strollers Signal the End of Times

Do you suppose that at the height of any advanced civilization, pets were carted around in small chariots and worshipped? And then the civilization collapsed due to economic and political disaster? Egyptians, Romans, Mayans. America?? The sign of the end is animal worship IMO. LOL

I don’t know if it’s Florida, old people or Wal-mart, but the amount of small dogs in strollers is increasing. I just saw two Shih Tzus being walked in a stroller on our street on the way home this morning. I saw a Yorkie in a stroller at Wal-mart last week. North Korea has missile capability. The end is nigh. (Please remind me to never go to Wal-mart ever again. Even if they have the cheapest aprons for high school ceramic students in town.)

Seriously though, why stroll a dog? Isn’t the purpose of walking a dog that the dog actually gets exercise? God have mercy on our confused nation. I mean, I love dogs, but a baby stroller?? Please euthanize your dog if they are unable to walk any more. For God’s sake. If you are offended by this advice, you might be a dog-strolling Wal-mart shopper. Or from Florida.

For years I have openly laughed at neighbors standing in small, sad patches of grass behind their dog, watching said dog poop, relaxed with total apathy except for their anxious blue-gloved hand in permanent claw pose, waiting to scoop said poop. The dog always has a smirk or a smile, “I got this human to pick up my shit for free just because I lick his face when he walks in the door.” Or the dog looks totally strained or confused. “Why do I have to poop in front of everyone??”

Who’s in charge? Someone once famously said, “If aliens came to our planet, they would think dogs were in charge because we are picking up their poop!” Aliens would definitely think dogs are in charge if they saw us carting them around in a baby buggy. Gah!

Flooding in Texas. Increased earthquakes. Global climate change. Start prepping now. Actually it’s probably too late. Watch Red Dawn and buy a bottle of Tequila.

Skink-a-do, Skink-a-don’t

There are little lizards all over the outside of our condo. Even a few baby ones on the inside! Eeek!

skink
Inflated neck skin and all! Adult Skink on our porch this morning

We have seen two baby skinks (that’s what we call them, IDK if that’s the scientific name) in the kitchen. There are so gosh darn cute, but not for inside cohabitation. We trap them under a cup and slide a piece of paper under the cup. Then we scoot them out the door. Then we burn the cup. (LOL JK) Did I say we? I meant, my husband. They are fast and squirrelly and lizard-y. Trap and release! No harm has come to these creatures except possible emotional trauma from being trapped by a screaming giant.

We see skinks every day here. They often inflate their neck skin like the weird little dragon dinos from Jurassic Park. Then they do a little hip-hop dance where they bob up and down. Pop and lockin’ like a dance troupe on America’s Got Talent. Go, Skink, Go, Skink, it’s ya birthday. Shiboy Skink-a-Freak!

I love these little critters, but the babies gotta stay with their mamas. They like to scurry in the space between our front door and screen, so we are on constant skink watch when we go out to the mezzanine. They change colors. They appear to be light, almost white and the older ones are sometimes black, sometimes dark greenish-brown.

Fascinating. I don’t get squeamish when I see them scamper about outside, but when the little ones wiggle in, I freak out! Housewife on the chair, like every Tom and Jerry episode with the 1950s lady in heels and an apron (WTF??! who’s doing laundry or dishes in heels??) in the kitchen or dining room, on top of some piece of furniture. “Get it, get it, get it!”

I saw a third baby skink try to wiggle in when a workman came to fix our bathroom. Thankfully, he caught him with his clipboard and scooted him out the door before he camped out underneath our sofa. Phew.

I tell you this–I’d take a baby skink over a dirty little field mouse any day! We had mice at our house in KC. NOPE! Mice are so gross. They poo and pee on everything. The world is their toilet! And buffet. I seriously considered burning the house to the ground and starting over when we had our mice problem. Gah!

I imagine the little baby skinks crawling all over us at night. Skitting in and out of our open mouths and ears. I know. It’s probably not happening. Probably. But haven’t you heard about how spiders like to sleep in your open, gaping, snoring, moistened mouth hole at night? Like the statistic about how many spiders you actually swallow during an entire year? Have you heard about that?? LOL

Please, Skinks, just don’t.

Great Jorb!

If you ever watch Homestar Runner. Then you will know who Coach Z is. He has a thick Great White North accent. That’s what it sounds like to me. Anyway, he says, “Great jorb!” a lot, which is “great job” in Minnesotan. I assume that Coach Z likes a good hot dish. Tater Tot Casserole, anyone?

So, I’m looking for a great jorb. One that satisfies my passions, interests and mostly, outstanding bills. I would take just about anything at this point. I technically have a job, but it doesn’t start until October. There’s several weeks of unpaid training and I wouldn’t start making money until January. Sigh. It’s through a local tax service, so we’ll see. If I can find something before then, obviously I will take it. But jobs are scarce around here during the off-season. Off-season being June through late November. Not many tourists around.

During the on-season, you have to make as much money as you can to supplement those lean months. That’s what we’re learning from locals anyway. There’s stupid amounts of money to be made when the tourists are here. If we need extra jobs during the holidays, I’m okay with that if we can breathe easy during the summer. Whatever it takes.

So I’m currently up for 3 different jobs. One is through the school district. It’s a minimum wage job, but fairly easy with limited responsibilities. I would mainly take the job to get my foot in the door and benefits. Although, I don’t know if I qualify for benefits if I’m part-time. But to be in the district as an employee has advantages. I can at least start applying for better jobs and receive free testing for those better jobs. If you’re not an employee, you have to pay for testing.

The second job is at a local Escape Room. You pay someone to lock you in a room and you have to sleuth your way out. It’s a modern-day Agatha Christie novel and you solve puzzles to open the door. Locked-room mystery! Ever play that computer game, MYST from the 90s? Don’t, if you haven’t! But it’s kinda like that. Is there anyone who doesn’t know what Escape Room is? Let me Google that for you. LOL

I think that this job would actually be perfect for me, but the pay isn’t great. I would definitely take it. But if a job that pays more came along, I wouldn’t be able to turn it down. Maybe they’ll take me part-time? Don’t know.

The third job is freaking awesome, but it seems too good to be true. Photography assistant. Boy. I would love this. And the pay is awesome. They want someone with marketing, photography and Photoshop skills. That’s obviously me. I hope they like me, like my skills, actually want to pay me what they are advertising. I go for an interview Monday.

The job market down here is sketchy. People advertise positions, but sometimes never call you. People claim benefits and great pay, but don’t always deliver. Make appointments and then cancel. Say things in front of you like, “Oh yeah, there’s no state income tax so I could actually pay you less than what I just quoted you.” And then never call you back because they figured out mid-interview they could hire someone else for less money because they never published the pay rate in their shitty Craigslist ad. Some employers here are just downright crazyflakes! I’m hoping this guy is legit and not just another Florida nut.

It’s for a high-end automotive car dealership. The guy is nice, but down-to-business. He says what he’s thinking. That can be a blessing and a curse. I think it’s a good fit, but how can you ever know?? Wish me luck! I just need a job. 🙂

The Jetty

My husband and I, coincidentally, had interviews around the same time yesterday at a local school. We were interviewing for 2 different jobs, but at the same school, around the same time. They must coordinate interviewing for the same day. Totally separate departments and interviewers. Working for the school district in this area is extremely competitive and highly coveted for some reason. Must be the benefits because they don’t pay well. LOL

It was a fun day, riding together, snagging coffee, talking, eating lunch together. After lunch, we headed over to the beach at the jetty. The jetty consists of two rock outcroppings that allow boats to enter an inlet. It’s sort of like the watery landing strip for a small marina, docks, businesses and houses on the shore. The inlet was calm. The water was much greener and lighter than normal, but the waves weren’t ripping through there.

But as soon as we got to the rocks on the south side of the jetty, this is what we saw.

It was fascinating to watch. I assume the ocean is kicking up because of Hurricane Harvey. We don’t have local news and weather, we can’t tune in any area stations on our TV. So we look at weather online and we have a weather radio.

Every time the waves broke on the rocks, our windshield was covered with salt spray. We were parked only 20 feet from the breaking waves. Some people got up on the rocks and filmed the waves coming in. The only thing separating us from the waves was a good low wall of small boulders. It was amazing and little scary.

Wouldn’t want to be in the ocean while the waves are this high, but we saw two parasurfers (parasail with a waterski handle and you ride a surfboard around, they were hauling) yesterday in these high waves. The wind and waves were ripping! OMG! Looks dangerous. I have trouble staying on my feet in low tide on a calm day. LOL I would die if I was caught in this. Instantly. Immediately. I’d be drowned or dashed on the rocks.

If I was parasurfing in this? Death grip on that handle! But I wouldn’t parasurf in this! Crazy.

My thoughts are with Texas as Hurricane Harvey hits. Hope everyone can stay safe.