Born in the USA

I used to think it was a blessing to live in America. That I was one of the luckiest citizens of the planet to be born in such a country. An almost pre-ordained, God-given birthright. That I was blessed. That our nation was blessed. But I am a product of this environment. What else would I believe? Almost a century of “work hard, buy a house, use credit.” But it doesn’t work for everyone.

And what does that get you? America has become the abhorrent opposite of Christianity. Christianity is about sharing, loving, caring for the least, the poor, the fatherless, the widows. America is about securing your own property and power. And the difference between poor and rich is growing out of control.

I don’t know what it’s like to be anywhere else. Rugged individualism is only a value if you are raised in such a world. I was shown the commercial for America. I believed it. “Shut up and take my money.” I believed it was the best because that’s what we tell the world. The ideal is to live here. Immigrants pouring across the border for safety and wealth.

I don’t want to trade places, but I don’t mind sharing. I need healthcare, clean water, access to schools and freedom to move. Protection for my child. So do they.

If we can’t evolve as a society/country to accommodate those in need, then we have no business to point to our manifest destiny. We have become corrupt and require modification. Our entire country was formed on the crushing of Native Americans. There is still sentiment in this country, of those in power, that we can take what we want, benefit ourselves in the present, with no concern for the future. That should change.

We need to move/evolve from deregulated capitalism to something towards socialism. Not socialism, but at least universal healthcare. Life, liberty, pursuit of happiness. First one is life.

I wish I knew what to do. I’m paying attention. I’m watching the money. I’m voting. I’m participating. It’s not clear that the Dems will do any better. God help us.

I love America. Mostly the people in it. But I am growing more and more discouraged by the few in power who abuse the poor.

Born in the USA

This is America


Also. When do we drop the American dream and start living as God intended? Without borders. Without walls. Loving and caring for the world. God doesn’t care if we are safe, air-conditioned and pampered. He doesn’t care how big our house is or what we have in the cupboards if any of his people are starving. He has asked us to move into an uncomfortable place. I am still content to be comfortable. When does that change? What’s the breaking point? To move from comfort with one’s life to fighting for change for others? He’s waiting for us to be the hands and feet of his body. That’s our earthly purpose. When do we embrace that?

I can’t let my family down. Run off to South America, risk life and limb, risk my daughter’s life. My husband and daughter are counting on me. What are the little things I can do for the least of these?

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Scientific Reclassification

Feelings are an assignment of blame or honor to chemicals.
Emotion is a name given to electrical pulses of energy marking time or torment.
Deconstruction of trauma is a math function. Word problem. Brain exercise.
Subtraction of pain.
Addition of love.
Multiply goodness.
Equals a whole person.
Powers to an astronomical degree.
Science is beautiful. Humans are sums.
Peace is knowable. Pain is a number. God is infinite.

Truth Panties

I wrote this a while ago and i guess i never published?


full armor of god

  1. truth-gird your loins!

nobody really has to gird their loins anymore. we have underwear for that. sorry. is it too weird to talk about underwear and God for you? sorry.

in ephesians 6, paul talks about the full armor of god. he begins with the most basic foundation. protecting the most sensitive, valuable bits. ur loins! sorry. i’ll stop saying loins.

most guys would say the most important part to protect of your body is the nether regions. if guys had to choose one piece of armor, this would be it. Kacey Moe​, am i right?? gun to ur head, only one piece, what would u pick??? lol

but the significance here is important. God is telling us, protect the inmost part of yourself. the most sensitive part of your being, protect that. and protect that with truth. start with the truth. the most important thing, the first thing we base our whole outfit on. underwear goes on first. has to. or we are all walking around like Madonna Miley Cyrus.

and here’s where it’s really important to me. this doesn’t mean telling the world where to go or what to do, this means reminding yourself of truth. the truth.

when our inner dialogue turns to cynicism and defeat, we can’t listen to that. that is not what God would tell us. we can’t protect our inmost parts with lies.

here are some lies we all tell ourselves everyday:

  1. i’m not good enough.
  2. i don’t have enough things.
  3. i’m not special.
  4. i will fail.
  5. no one loves me.
  6. i don’t have all that i need or want.
  7. people, husband, mother, child, job will fill me up and i will be fulfilled by those relationships. and if i’m not, it’s because i failed somehow.
  8. God can’t help me or love me because i’m too gross. poor. ugly. mean. wicked. addicted. messed up. sinful. insert negative personal opinion here.
  9. i don’t need God.

the truth is…

you are good enough.

if you can read this? you have enough.

you are special because if you believe in God, he made you and he’s trying to save you. he put you before his own son. before himself. to save you. you are really special.

you can’t fail because all of the things that God wants for you have already happened. he has already climbed that mountain for you.

people will never fill you up, only God can do that. you will always be disappointed by man-made things, ideas, relationships. always. you will never be fulfilled by earthly things for any long period of time. it’s the human condition.

God can help you and he does love you. all the time. yes, even when you are gross!

you do need God. every day. all the time. yes, even now!

these are the garments we should clothe ourselves in, every day. truth clothes. truth panties. sorry.

the thoughts you think should be protected. and they should be guarded with truth! God’s truth. what does that mean??

simply…stop telling yourself you can’t. start telling yourself you can do anything. with God. or. if you don’t believe in God? at least believe in yourself.

hey, Martha.

yes, Martha?

i love you. and i love God.

thanks, Me. that’s enough.

(and yes, i am pretty weird, crazy and perhaps legally bonkers. but you know you tell yourself all kinds of things that are bad. start saying good things. every day.)

 

Most People

I hear all the time–“Most people are good.” There’s even a country song about it.
Most People Are Good

I don’t believe this. Most people aren’t good. Most people are selfish. Hurtful. Say the wrong thing. Do the wrong thing. THINK the wrong thing. Cut each other off in traffic. Scream at their kids. Act impatiently. Demand perfection, yet fall short in every single way a human can because…simply because we are not Jesus H. Christ. (the H stands for Herbert, betcha didn’t know that)

Most people are spiritually bankrupt. In fact, all people. In fact, me. I have no currency to enter heaven or even behave in a Godly way. Because I’m human. But thank God that he left us his Holy Spirit. To inhabit our lives so that we may be those good people we tell everyone we are.

I believe that most people wouldn’t murder someone. I believe most people wouldn’t steal. I believe that most people wouldn’t set a bag of poo on fire on their neighbor’s porch. If that’s what you mean by good. But come on. THAT’s the bare minimum. That doesn’t make you a good person.

Most people are people. Meaning–most people are human. All people are human. Except Mark Zuckerberg and Nicolas Cage.

An old woman came up to me last night, after the show, and poked my belly. She said, “That’s not you.” I don’t know what she meant, but I assured her THAT was all me.

I’ve lost so much weight. I have mucho excess skin. It still looks like I carry quite a few extra pounds. My legs are saggy. I basically have a saggy meat apron where my stomach should go. I don’t mind. I feel great. But to have someone poke your belly? Well, that’s just downright mean.

People have been saying all kinds of mean things to me lately. I try not to let it bother me. But this is exactly why, for years, I insulated myself with food. Extra fat. Isolated from community. Refused to love other people because I didn’t want to be hurt over and over. Protected my vulnerability and extra sensitivity. Avoided confrontation because I was ill-equipped to deal with people’s ignorance and arrogance. Unable to say completely what I wanted for fear of never stopping.

Where does some old woman get off poking me in the belly? Most people are dicks. But I don’t have to be. The only way I can be saved. The only way I can claim goodness. To accept the Holy Spirit each and every day and cling to his providence of fruits. Then my vine shall blossom.


God fill me with your holiness. The Spirit of your Son. So that I may love this depraved world. Let me complete your work. That is my purpose. That is my strength. That is my whole reason for living. For your sake. For our collective sake. Amen.

Vengeance is Mine

Move on.
Let go.
Live well.
Headline your own show.

Drop toxic.
Choose good.
Forget the score.
Do what you should.

The crowds paid to see
What and who YOU are.
You are the talent.
You’re the brilliant star.

Those extras didn’t have chops
They only ever clung
Hangers on, haters gone
It was your name brightly hung

Don’t apologize
For putting yourself first.
Where would they put themselves
If the situation reversed?

Girl, bye.

I can only imagine

i imagine what it will be like when i stand before God. finally to be with him, just to be near him. that he will know all my sins and still love me.

he already does.

that he will judge me and rightly so. i will be held accountable, all will be fair, all will be balanced. all will be wiped away with one stroke if we simply bow.

what will it be like to be embraced by our father?

one by one, he will reach out for us and we will collapse in his arms. won’t that be heaven? to be known. completely. to be cherished.

we already are.

Promise

ok. take all ur hopes, dreams and wishes and.

throw them out the window.

start over and ask God what he wants for u.

ask him to show it to u. be patient. look for it. be brave.

when u put God first, u start wanting things u didn’t even know were possible, things that he’s set aside just for u.

it looks weird. it feels weird. but I promise, God promises, that it will be magical, supernatural and unbelievably good.

he has promised to prosper us and not harm us.

my husband looked at me one day and wondered, “how we can we be in such a good place right now?” (after bankruptcy and foreclosure, cancer, medical debt, heart failure)

and I think it’s because we finally straightened out our priorities. we stopped wishing for better and started being better.

he gives us good things when we put him first. u can’t wish for a boat/motorcycle/bigger house/pool/money and pretend like that’s ur prayer to God. those things won’t make it better.

u can’t ask for a better kid/spouse/life until YOU become a better kid/spouse/person.

give it up and hand it over, u’ll be surprised. promise.

from 2016

i know some people question God. God is cruel, they say. or “where is God?” i think the question should be more, “is God fair and just?” and to this i say, yes. God is perfectly just. no action can go without consequence, our actions and/or other people’s actions. those are the rules whether u believe in God or not. those are the rules whether God exists or not. the choice of our will radiates out in never-ending ripples of consequence. we drop a stone, that is our choice, and it has repercussions, good or bad, forever. if we make a series of good choices, life gets easier. but only until someone else’s will runs up against ours. is that God’s fault?

God allows free will and therefore, allows man to have his way. how much more just can an all-powerful being be? if He does indeed exist. how patient He is. it would be much easier to just take over and start again. i don’t see God as cruel. i see Him as ever-so merciful and gracious to give me several chances at life even though i destroy my body. and He also offers me infinite redemption, love, grace and forgiveness so long as i acknowledge that He is the one to grant those things.

i have no problem in doing that. i am grateful for that. it is a welcome respite from a cruel world.