Christmas Crash

This is a poem I wrote several years ago. I wrote it for the church I was attending. The drama director had doubts about a white woman writing a spoken word poem in a masculine voice. The piece was for a male performer. That made me want to do it all the more. I think I did a good job and the voice is neutral. Men and women can both be strong. Both love God. Both raise their voices to honor Him.

The drama director was surprised at how well the piece came across and apologized for her doubts. She still never fully trusted me, but that’s her loss. This was my first spoken word poem. I still love it. Here’s a link to me, my husband and my daughter performing it from our home in KC. It may be slightly overwrought, but we’re actors. You can’t fight city hall.


Crash.Crashing.Crushing.Crushed.

I stagger here crushed, crashed into by God,
Crushed by the weight of his mercy and grace,
My sin gone without a trace.
And it feels like…heaven.

A flash.
Flashing.
Hit by lightning, the wonder of his coming,
Saved by his dying,
Crying at the moment I see his glory
And he is revealed to me.

This world is full of:
Head-on collisions,
Rear-view visions.
Hurt may appear
Closer in the mirror.

Hitting, hurting, burning,
Scratching, fighting, scarring.
And we don’t even know
Who we’ve struck on the road

With our carelessness. Our thoughtlessness. Our inhumanity.

Though–we are saved.
Without reason or cause.
Captured and raptured.
In spite of our flaws.

Made by his hands,
Made for his plans,
Made just like him.

Built for relationship.
Desiring fellowship,
Asking for love and loyalty–
Our trust in His royalty.

Our undivided attention.

And when he crashes into us,
It doesn’t hurt.
But you know that you’ve been hit.

Crash.

He crashes into us.
He leaves a mark.
Stunned mind, ears ring.
A mark made by the one, true king.

Crash.

He came on a star.
He left on a cloud.
Here but a brief second.
A drop in the bucket.

But he changed man’s heart forever.

Hit and run.
Hit and stun.
Crash.

Crash.Crashing.Crushing.Crushed.

Crushed by his glory, stick around for the story,
The story of Love.
A story of grace.
God came to earth and showed us his face.
The face of a child in such a lowly place.

Eternal spirit become flesh.
Forever and finite, in a sense,
Wisdom clothed in innocence.

Power in weakness,
Eternity from meekness,
He does nothing but seek us.

He came here to this dangerous space.
A tiny member of the human race
To save.  The.  World.

He crashed into history.
He flashed into being.
Everything changes,
Believing is seeing.

The story gets better.
The story is a letter.
A letter from me to you
By Him.

Read it from beginning to end.
And read it again.
And again.
And again.

Brace for impact.


I feel so lucky that God came down for Christmas. Happy holidays. ❤

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From the Ghost of Thanksgiving Past

from Thanksgiving 2013:

it would be very tempting to go buy a TV on black friday. there is a 50″ flat screen on Target for the holiday sales for only $229. walmart has one for $178-40″. this is cheaper than even their 32″, usually over $200. we don’t have a flat screen, we’ve got an old school tube tv and it is crazy heavy. but it’s 32″, in good condition and perfectly good enough.
i won’t support the holiday shopping that has become insane. i won’t support people being away from their families on thanksgiving. i won’t support the ever-increasing need to have more and more shit. i won’t support buying gifts for myself when others are in need. i won’t buy gifts for other people who don’t need anything. i have the money to buy a TV finally, at a good price, but i won’t expose my child to the ridiculous crowds assembled to fight each other for things. i won’t stand in line for hours upon hours to save a few dollars. i won’t buy into the hype.
what i will do is…stock a local food pantry that we had to use this year. be thankful for God’s providence. be thankful i’m not in jail becuz i just filed bankruptcy and in this beautiful country, just becuz i owe money i can’t pay, the gov’t. will allow me to have my debt forgiven even if we have had hard times, been sick or just plain reckless. i will be thankful that even tho i don’t have alot of money i have been able to stay at home with my child and be here for her. i don’t have to give up my child becuz i made a mistake. i can eat a thanksgiving meal with my family w/o sitting in jail for owing money.
i am not going to take for granted every single blessing i have including a TV that works. thankful that i don’t have to stand for hours in the cold to buy a TV i don’t need. thankful that i can spend the holiday with my family, enjoying each other’s company instead of fighting strangers over things and money. i wish more people would not shop on thanksgiving. you are supporting an entire industry that is only focused on getting more and more of your dollars.
i’m going to save my money this year becuz i might lose my house. i’m going to save my money for the move we might have to make. i’m going to do the responsible thing for once and live like Dave Ramsey says. i’m going to live with eternity in mind, not focus on what i can shove in my face, cram in my eyes and muddle up in my mind. i’m not going to focus on material possessions this year. i’m going to focus on God’s ever-present benevolence and grace on my poor, undeserving soul.


who woulda thought i would be in florida in 4 years time?? with a flat screen. 😀 still saving and pinching those pennies.

12 Days of Driving

I drive for a living. I love my job. It’s so easy and the pay is great. The hours are amazing. Plus, I have the best boss. THE best boss I’ve ever had. Such a nice guy. So easy-going.

I pick up labs (body fluids, of course contained) and take them to the main downtown hospital super lab. Easy-peasy, liquid squeezy.

The other day, I arrived at one of the clinics. The staff have a strange penchant for feeding stray cats (and by accident, raccoons and vultures) in the back-of-the-strip-mall parking lot just behind their clinic. It’s sort of like Grey Gardens without the elaborate outfits and dilapidated old house. This is where I park before I enter their facility.

There’s usually at least one cat in the lot. Waiting around for scraps. But the other day it was like Black Friday at Wal-mart or a new version of The Twelve Days of Christmas:
3 trash pandas
2 mangy vultures
AAAAAND 1 gray and white alley caaaaaat!

I’d never seen so many scavengers in one place, even at Dr. Doolittle’s. They all sat waiting just outside a vast clump of bushes. Wonder what was in those bushes? I really don’t wanna find out.

Food? Dead animal? Dead body?? EEEK! I just grabbed my labs and split!

Happy Holidays! Try singing The Twelve Days of Trash Panda. 🙂 LOL