For Anyone Who’s Lonely

Be patient. Take your time.
Good friends are hard to find.
If relationships were easy?
You’d never mine your kind.

I waited a lifetime
To unbury my heart.
Then he came from nowhere.
The whole to my half-a part.

I used to think
I was just a lost cause.
Then along came my mister
Once I settled on who I was.

Then came my daughter.
My very best friend.
We’ll always have each other.
Every day, to the very end.

It’s more important
To know one’s self
Than to put your love
On the lowest shelf.

It’s oftentimes tumultuous–
Sometimes you run aground.
But there is no life-saver.
Everyone will let you drown.

The simple fact is this–
You have to pick your hurt.
Find the friends who deserve
To get everything you’re worth.

People will make a mess.
People will let you fall.
But good friends stitch you up
After toppling off that wall.

Don’t forget.
You’re loyal.
Kind.
Intelligent.
Loving.
Beautiful.
Unique.
Capable.
Worthy.
Valuable.
Patient.

If you give away who you are to the wrong person, the right person will miss you.
Good luck.

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Fat

Lost my inflatable armor.
Nothing but skin and bones.
Nothing to protect me now
When they start throwing their stones.

I finally dropped my baggage.
I’m certainly much more thin.
The only problem now?
Unfortunately, so’s my skin.

I built that big wall high.
Tall enough for you.
Only a few who really knew
Could see the courtyard view.

Fat feelings of disappointment
In how I was rejected.
Only accepted when
I embraced what they expected.

I remember who you are.
I never will forget.
Those who leave a scar,
Those who owe a debt.

You pay me back
By feigning love.
One thumb up
From that little white glove.

This may surprise you,
I always deserved your like.
You were hateful and mean,
Only now does sympathy strike.

Outside? I may look tough.
Wrinkly, worn and old.
But this is recycled flesh.
Inside? I’m a newborn soul.

To those few who bothered to know,
They who loved me without fear,
I couldn’t have made it alone alive.
So. Thank you. I’m still here.

Therapy

Toes on the beach
Leaves me speechless
Lost in time
Clouds on the climb
Sky is reachless

Mind in the sand
Gives me bedrock
Found on the wave
Pain in the grave
Peace and joy in wedlock

Heart on the ocean
Takes my sorrow
Seeks a new story
Bottomless quarry
Mining the treasure of tomorrow

Born Naked

Born naked
And die alone
Those two things
Done all on your own

No hand to  hold
No face to trust
Simply do and die
Two things we must

So if we’re assured
Of only two things
Bloody birth
And a pair of angel’s wings

Why not try
In every single way
To pull down dreams
And author our play

Why live in fear
Be brave, hold fast
If you leave it for tomorrow
Today won’t last

Being born and dying
Are already done
What comes between
Is the race to run

Keep running.

Uncharted Sea

2 Timothy 1:7

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline.

Find what it is, or where it is, that you should be and live with fervor for God Almighty. There’s no time to do less than that.


If God is the wave
And we are the ocean
Let Him move us along
With faithful devotion

Water is deep and still until
It is acted upon by wind
It doesn’t fear, but simply responds
And that’s where living begins

You may be carried far
Be brave and take the blows
Hold on for the ride of your life
Allow the highs and lows

If you can’t raise your anchor and sails
If you can’t submit to Force
You can’t gain new ground
Without trusting the course

If you have faith in God
Look to the stars for hope and relief
You’ll be amazed at the treasures you’ll find
In sailing beyond the reef.

 

Christ=Love

Philippians 1:9-10 NIV

And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, 10 so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ,


So our love may abound.

That’s not a selfish love for ourselves. That is love for our neighbor. Fellow man, global partner, friend, boss, co-worker, passerby, merchant, customer, homeless man on the street.

Do u think if you knew why a person was a jerk that you could love them more? If you knew why a man was homeless could you hold his hand? Offer him food? Wash his feet? If you heard his story, could you see his heart?

Our depth of insight is shallow. We don’t care why someone takes advantage of us, we just know that we have to fight for our rights! That is the American way. We were founded on this principle.

The knowledge Christ gives us of human relationship is deep and unending. And Christ asks us to overlook our rights to reach the heart of man. He forfeited his rights on the cross to reach us. Right?


I saw a man on the street holding a sign this week as I made my way to the hospital to drop off my collected labs.

AMERICA NEEDS JESUS CHRIST

We surely do. We need Christ. Christ=Love. Love=Unconditional care. Amen, Brother.

December 11th, 1992

The day I lost my dad.


I am kneeling beside my father. He’s dead.

I look at him for a long time. I’ve never seen a dead body before.

I want to memorize his face and hands before he is in the ground.

His mouth is open. His eyes are fixed and wide. He is frozen with a look of surprise. I reach out to touch the back of his neck. My fingers barely land when I feel the prickle of shorn hair and cold, firm flesh.

I immediately withdraw my hand.

I am devastated that he’s gone. I never thought I would feel bad on this day.

My face is numb and tight from the departed tears that I didn’t bother to stop, catch or dry.

His hair is stiff and sharp. It’s cut so close and damaged from the radiation. It’s seems almost burnt.

His nose is pronounced and pointed. When he was healthy, it was round and red, but he’s lost so much weight. It’s chiseled bare.

His cheeks are waxy melting mounds. Smooth and brown.

His hands are large; dangerous. They are still, yet frightening. The monster strength is gone, but they summon the fear of what was possible, what was done.

He is a mechanic. But he has the cleanest, longest nails I’ve ever seen on a man. The palms are soft and tender, amazingly so.

My hands are close to his. The backs of my hands are rough, pale and dry. White with flakes. My nails are short and torn. Red and sore like my eyes.

I can sense that whatever lights the eye and warms the blood is gone from him. There is no recognition, not even a grimace.

His spirit has sighed away and what is left is just a heap of tumors, bones and bile. He will never talk, kiss, threaten, smoke, curse, drink, hit, hate, love, work, sacrifice, shame or wrestle on this earth again. He can’t hurt any more, but he also can’t fix a thing.

I have lost him. I. Am. Lost.

Elderly Dragonfly

Oh, aged, fluttering Friend,
Your short, lovely life is about to end.

Perched upon my window sill,
Your lethargy reveals you are ill.

You linger and you long,
Not quite finished with your song.

When your life is almost over,
Why aren’t you dancing above the clover?

Instead, you visit me for one last glance.
My window–your funeral. Our last chance.

When humans are old and losing the world,
We sit and stare at Universe unfurled.

But you, my friend, stare back at me,
Waiting for Heaven to finally be free.

Did you have children? Did you find grace?
Did you ever find your very own space?

Thank you for spending your last minutes here.
I embrace your brave absence of fear.

Float on up. Flying is done.
Your winged race? Too-soon run.


Based on a story my husband just shared from work last night. I made the dragonfly in Photoshop from scanned ink textures and filter effects.

Irma-gawd

She’s not here yet, but Irma’s on her way. I can’t say I’m not scared. But I’m also not in a panic. I am the appropriate amount of afraid. Category 5 hurricane sounds scary.

First of all, thank you to many friends, family and complete strangers for your concern and advice. Truly. I very much appreciate your nervousness for us. That means our family means something to you and for that I’m thankful. We are watching closely, preparing (packing, obtaining, locating all appropriate needs/essentials), and praying. We will move inland. We will not stay on the island. We will get away from the ocean. For sure. We have a plan and are asking lots of questions. AND we are not currently in the direct path. We are in the “cone of uncertainty” (love that, hope it becomes a meme). Who knows what tomorrow will bring, but we will get heavy rain and winds no matter where we are.

Second of all, I am praying for those fleeing from the storm at this very moment. It’s terrifying. Especially if you have children. But that makes me think of all people around the world right now fleeing from flooding, fighting or famine. Or trapped in those conditions. Our world is on fire or drowning, and it’s scary. Pray.

Thank you, God, for watching over and protecting us. Thank you for our many blessings. Thank you for people who care. If we live, we live for you. If we die, we die for you. Whether we live or die we belong to you. You have brought us so far to help us and not to hurt us. I trust my life to you, Lord. That I may be a blessing to others.
In Jesus’ name.

Third of all, I’m so thankful that I’ve spent the last 5 or so years ridding myself of possessions and pride. The only thing you care about when a storm is coming? Keeping the people you love and live next to safe. Things don’t matter, people do.

If you don’t have a bunch of things to worry about, you can evacuate in about an hour. If you had to. What do you really need when it comes down to it? People all around the world live with very little. I like that. I want to be like that. I am almost like that already.

We are almost packed. We have 3 jugs of water. Flashlight. Important papers. Car. Ready.

You wouldn’t know a beast of a storm is coming. The sky is bright blue today and clear as a Gulf morning ocean.

You can take my couch, Irma, but please don’t take my life, my love or my laughter. I can’t control two out of those three things, but I will always laugh. No matter what.