You don’t like mayo? Why?

Our good friend, Craig, used to tell us about a specific kind of person. The kind of person who would inquire about your preferences and then immediately call them into question. He would use this example:

“You don’t like mayonnaise?? Why?”

How about, “I just DON’T!” LOL

I used to love mayo. LOVE. Couldn’t eat a sandwich without mayo. I would gag at the thought of dry bread, meat and cheese. In fact, I used to eat Miracle Whip when I was a kid. Couldn’t eat balonie sandwiches without Miracle Whip. Salad dressing of the Gods!

A few years ago, I started to eat mayo, not MW. Miracle Whip started to have more of a gasoline flavor associated with it and mayo seemed so much creamier. Funny how tastes change. Especially when you’re in charge of buying the mayo.

NOW?! UGH! Please don’t put mayo or MW on my sandwich. I have completely converted to non-mayo sandwiches. I prefer mustard these days. Any type of mustard, but usually just plain-old yellow mustard.

I used to slather anything in butter or mayo. Or ranch–the new ketchup!! Now? The thought of mayo makes me sick. Which makes me so sad. I think it’s my gastric bypass or my gall bladder removal. I have no idea. But I hate mayo now. Can’t stomach the idea of it. In fact, I can’t really tolerate many fats these days.

I’m leaning towards the fact that I don’t have a GB is the problem. Mainly because the gall bladder processes all the fats in your body. Sort of. And I read that GB removal can cause problems with fat digestion. But so can gastric bypass! Who knows. Probably a combo. But here’s the deal.

The liver is producing the bile that digests fats. The gall bladder stores the bile and releases it when you eat. Well, I don’t have a gall bladder any more. So, my liver has to produce enough bile to digest the fats, on demand. Your liver doesn’t usually produce enough bile on demand to eat most fattening food like butter, mayo or oil-based products. Can’t store bile in my non-existent GB, right? You follow?

Therefore, I really have to limit fats. Especially fried foods! For whatever reason. That’s fine! Mayo just sends my tummy into flip-flops. Hold the egg, hold the oil. Hold the fries! I usually get squeamish around anything fried lately. Just knowing it’s going to cause problems.

Oh well. I must accept this change. No matter how concerning and disappointing. It’s healthier. It’s less calories. It’s totally not going to hurt me. It’s a blessing.

I am officially old. LOL How could someone become intolerant of the blandest food on the planet? But that’s okay. Mayo be gone! Bring on the dijon. And broccoli. And melba toast.

Oh, and my new favorite veggie? Edamame!! Plain. I am totally an old person. 😀 They are like giant lentils. Yum! Put it in a casserole. Eat it steamed. Simmer in stock. Slurp! Crunch! Yum. Just don’t get mayo near my pods.

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No-pasta Pasta Salad (Ranch & Bacon)

Y’all! This is so good. Do you like Ranch & Bacon Suddenly Salad? Well-hold on to your cowboy hats.

I need protein and veg and this salad has both!

1 small sweet yellow onion
3 medium cucumbers
1 container of small grape tomatoes
1 small bag of frozen peas
Fresh or dried dill weed
1 cup mayo
Black pepper, optional
1/2 lb. crumbled bacon
1 tbsp. of whipped cream cheese
1/2 cup shredded cheddar

Cut up one sweet yellow onion. Dice cucumbers. Cut the grape tomatoes in half. Wash and throw all the veggies in a big mixing bowl. Add the frozen peas. Mix with mayo and cream cheese. If you like more mayo, add more! Dill weed to taste. Pepper if you like. Add bacon and cheddar. Mix well.

You may want to add tomatoes as a garnish, so leave out until the end, if you prefer. Or leave them out altogether (if you’re like my husband). Washing the cut tomatoes helps get rid of the jelly and seeds inside if you don’t like those. Or you can dice a whole tomato if you prefer a different type of variety/flavor.

I recommend buying bacon by the pound, not bacon bits. Fry it up in a pan!! Drain well. The flavor is better. You can also sub in green onion if you prefer, for the yellow onion. Or scallions, or leeks. Whatev. Uber fresh!

The salad tastes impossibly fresh and the frozen peas help bring the salad to a cold fridge temp almost immediately. Enjoy! Let me know if you make it and what you think. It’s pasta salad without the pasta. Lower carb and you don’t miss the noodles, the cucumbers act as the vehicle for the other ingredients. IMO! I think it tastes a lot like Ranch & Bacon Suddenly Salad (which I love)! But this is fresh and more natural without the carbs of pasta shells. Plus! You can add diced hard-boiled egg if you like for even more protein. Yum!!

Eat, eat, eat! Without guilt. It’s mostly veg. Why not?! I can’t eat much, but I want to eat it all night long. lol

Current weight=381 lbs. Almost to goal. 😀