It’s In the Knowing

We all know loss
We all know pain
We all know hurt
All are soaked by the rain

God knows loss
God knows pain
God knows hurt
God gave all for All’s gain

If you know hurt, loss, pain? Love?
Then you know sacrifice.

If you know sacrifice?
Then you know God.

From the moment God created, he knew.
We were known.

He knew what he would have to do.
And created us anyway.

To be known is to hurt.
And also to be loved.

No one lives anonymously. Thank God.

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The Rock

Psalm 91:1
Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow
of the Almighty.


If I am the immobile mountain, move me.
If your love is the mountain, then I shall be the one to climb.
If your summit is unknowable, then let me dangle from your shadows and shelter.
Let me live at the foot of your love.

had it up to *here* haikus

Progress in Congress?
Endless regress to nonsense.
Tax cut transgression.


White-collar version
Of looting and coercion–
Congressional bill


Congressmen make laws
For those who can foot the bill
With boots on our necks


Middle class kidnapped
Held ransom by Congress thugs
Don’t be/get taken

Christmas Crash

This is a poem I wrote several years ago. I wrote it for the church I was attending. The drama director had doubts about a white woman writing a spoken word poem in a masculine voice. The piece was for a male performer. That made me want to do it all the more. I think I did a good job and the voice is neutral. Men and women can both be strong. Both love God. Both raise their voices to honor Him.

The drama director was surprised at how well the piece came across and apologized for her doubts. She still never fully trusted me, but that’s her loss. This was my first spoken word poem. I still love it. Here’s a link to me, my husband and my daughter performing it from our home in KC. It may be slightly overwrought, but we’re actors. You can’t fight city hall.


Crash.Crashing.Crushing.Crushed.

I stagger here crushed, crashed into by God,
Crushed by the weight of his mercy and grace,
My sin gone without a trace.
And it feels like…heaven.

A flash.
Flashing.
Hit by lightning, the wonder of his coming,
Saved by his dying,
Crying at the moment I see his glory
And he is revealed to me.

This world is full of:
Head-on collisions,
Rear-view visions.
Hurt may appear
Closer in the mirror.

Hitting, hurting, burning,
Scratching, fighting, scarring.
And we don’t even know
Who we’ve struck on the road

With our carelessness. Our thoughtlessness. Our inhumanity.

Though–we are saved.
Without reason or cause.
Captured and raptured.
In spite of our flaws.

Made by his hands,
Made for his plans,
Made just like him.

Built for relationship.
Desiring fellowship,
Asking for love and loyalty–
Our trust in His royalty.

Our undivided attention.

And when he crashes into us,
It doesn’t hurt.
But you know that you’ve been hit.

Crash.

He crashes into us.
He leaves a mark.
Stunned mind, ears ring.
A mark made by the one, true king.

Crash.

He came on a star.
He left on a cloud.
Here but a brief second.
A drop in the bucket.

But he changed man’s heart forever.

Hit and run.
Hit and stun.
Crash.

Crash.Crashing.Crushing.Crushed.

Crushed by his glory, stick around for the story,
The story of Love.
A story of grace.
God came to earth and showed us his face.
The face of a child in such a lowly place.

Eternal spirit become flesh.
Forever and finite, in a sense,
Wisdom clothed in innocence.

Power in weakness,
Eternity from meekness,
He does nothing but seek us.

He came here to this dangerous space.
A tiny member of the human race
To save.  The.  World.

He crashed into history.
He flashed into being.
Everything changes,
Believing is seeing.

The story gets better.
The story is a letter.
A letter from me to you
By Him.

Read it from beginning to end.
And read it again.
And again.
And again.

Brace for impact.


I feel so lucky that God came down for Christmas. Happy holidays. ❤

High

Coffee & Leather
Unsmoked cigarettes
Words & Tea
Guzzled with regrets

Remembered rambles
Filled with remorse
Ancient ships
Blown off course

I didn’t love you
With all that I had.
I saved some for me.
Am I bad? Are you sad?

Sharp in the vein.
Blood in the glass.
Drink all the pain.
Don’t give hurt a pass.

This aroma.
This smell.
This pain.
This well.

I sweat these smells and swirling thoughts
Linger on the rush of Past.
I get high on who we were.
Too bad stinging smoke won’t last.

Sail Haiku

Only the insane
Would sail from a safe harbor
Crazy for the sea


Sails don’t always fly
Sometimes we all lose our wind
True sailors make waves


Sailing in the sea
Upon wooden boards and hope
Wanted: wood and sea


Sails fly high above
My troubles sink far below
Rock me down to peace


Sailboat harbor home
Only for a tiny rest
Tomorrow: the world


Towing home the sun
Bringing in the clouds to shore
Now the day is done


Here, so much I saw
Witness to what God has borne
Sea, fish, birds, and sky

jetty sunset.jpg

Have it your way

Hypocrites always tell you
How to live your life.
But do you ever see them
Taking their own advice?

Know-it-alls: dime a dozen.
Always telling you what to do.
How to do it, where to go,
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you!”

These type of people
Live their life in fear.
Able to see others’ mistakes,
But their own quickly disappear.

If you really did know it all,
Perhaps you would realize–
Nobody likes “I told you so.”
Unwise to self-aggrandize.

You’re toxic and arrogant.
Selfish and impolite.
But somehow, in your opinion,
You’ve always got it right.

Riding high upon your horse
Must make you pretty sore.
Above it all, until you fall.
It’s going to hurt worse when you hit the floor.

I would offer you some charitable words,
But I assume they are not prized.
So I’ll just say, “Have it your way.”
Alone and rather surprised.

Walking in Darkness

For my friend, Laurey. Love you, Doll.


Night has come and we walk in dark
Because we have not made it home.
But in the black, hand in hand,
We do not go alone.

The light will come again.
We know that now for sure.
For lightless earth and dimming path
Love is the only cure.


Isaiah 9 ESV

But there will be no gloom for her who was in anguish…but in the latter time he has made glorious the way of the sea… The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them has light shone.


Laurey lost her mom over Thanksgiving. Anytime is not a good time to lose your mom, but it was unexpected and on holiday break. If you would like to help, they have funeral costs. You can give here. Ellen Johnson Please do not feel obligated. I’m sharing to try and help.

What if?

What if I can’t lose weight?
What if my clothes aren’t cool?
What if my hair isn’t right?
What if I’m considered a fool?

What if I didn’t give a shit about what anybody thinks and chased after what was really important to me?

Oh, to be 18, again
Or 14, in junior high
To live out loud, out from under this cloud
Staring at bright, blue sky

I would be fierce, artistic
Outspoken, yet simplistic
Lovely and fantastic
Moderately enthusiastic

Oh. Wait. I don’t have to be 18. Or 14. I am all those things. Now.

What if I loved myself wherever I am. However I am. Now? Huh.