From 2015: So You Got a Little Damp

BB–before blog 🙂


so, i’m standing outside in the rain this morning, waiting for the bus with Lil. we only have one umbrella. so i give it to her. i can get wet, but if she got soaked, she’d be miserable all day. at least i can come in and dry off. it’s cold and a little breezy, but not too bad. it was chilly, but if just a tad warmer, not at all terrible. it made me think of when i was somewhere between the age of 5-8. for the life of me, i can’t remember how old i was. but it was an experience i would never forget.

it’s raining outside and my sister and i come up with a great idea. let’s put on our bathing suits and go stand in the rain on the porch. what would mom say? OMG! she said yes. what?? so we put on our bathing suits and we go outside. all i can see is about 3 feet in front of me. it’s raining hard. no lightning and it’s quite warm. a warm summer soaker. it’s so hard to see. so we start pretending that we are waterskiers on the back of a boat and hold on for dear life. i think we even had a rope that we tied around the railing of the deck and that was our tow rope. we leaned back and ski’d like pros. i even had the sensation of bobbing up and down on the water, making jumps and doing tricks. what a powerful experience. my sister and i squealed and frolicked in the downpour and literally danced in the rain. i didn’t worry about getting hurt, i just enjoyed the rare delight of getting completely wet on purpose.

well, as adults we lose that ability to enjoy the storm. we think about our things that get wet, our basements, our stuff, our cars. we think about that leaky roof that we want to hold for one more storm. we think about how the storm might damage our flowers and plants. we wonder if the wind and rain will claim our possessions, houses, lives even, if it gets really bad. we wonder if the power will go out and if we will be left in darkness. we fear the thunder and lightning because we don’t know what will come. i can’t think of a time as an adult that i enjoyed the actual storm. maybe if i was inside, under a blanket and the rain was light. but i would never willingly stand in the rain.

i did get caught in the rain with my husband on the huzzah (pronounced hoo-za) river one year, in a canoe. it hailed on us and lightning all around. hail. and we were in a metal canoe. with lightning. i was scared to death and all i could think was to paddle like hell. we made great time after the hail started. never paddled so hard in my life. Guy was humming “Ride of the Valkyries” from the back. for a minute, even while paddling, i thought, “maybe we should stop.” but where was there to go to escape the rain? the banks were small, no trees really, no shelter. the people on the sides of the river were being rained/hailed on just the same. might as well keep going. just keep paddling. we’ll make it through or die trying. i’d rather be struck by lightning trying to get to where i need to go instead of waiting around on the side of a river and be struck by lightning. we were the very last team among our friends to make it to the end. worst experience canoeing ever. ever. many mishaps on the river that year. but we made it through and i can laugh about it now. at least we had a boat to float it out! and a dry ride back to camp.

but this morning i stood in the rain. and it wasn’t so bad. i can get wet and it’ll be okay. this is life. with God. he’s my umbrella. and while i may not dance around like i did when i was a child, i can still smile through the storm and know, it’ll be over soon and He’s got this. I don’t have to worry or be afraid. there will always be storms. there will always be rain. it makes things grow. like me. be thankful for the rain and don’t worry.

James 1:2-3
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.”

boy, does it.


If you’re going through hell, keep going.
Winston Churchill

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From the Sunshine State

Job 8:16
They are like a well-watered plant in the sunshine, spreading its shoots over the garden;

Psalm 37:6
He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun.

Psalm 113:3
From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, the name of the Lord is to be praised.

Proverbs 4:18
The path of the righteous is like the morning sun, shining ever brighter till the full light of day.

Ecclesiastes 11:7
Light is sweet, and it pleases the eyes to see the sun.

Isaiah 60:20
Your sun will never set again, and your moon will wane no more; the Lord will be your everlasting light, and your days of sorrow will end.

I love the rain. But living in a mostly sunny state is good for one’s soul and body. I was just born in the wrong part of the country. 🙂 How can you be sad by the beach?

sunset marino beach 3

Coconuts and Clouds

Newly fallen coconuts
And cauliflower clouds
Blue-soaked sand
Hosts of shells in crowds

Sing to the birds
Call them from shore
Raise anchor and sail
And drop my oar

Meditate on waves
Sleep below the sun
Kissed by gentle rains–
Falling stars have come undone

Fish swarm
Water’s warm
Shadows form
Gathering storm

Wait for thunder, run for cover
Laughing the entire way
Joy to the bones when we make it home
That’s enough beach for today

 

Rain

Dark clouds
Gather behind me,
Whisper about my life.

Untrue words
Rip like lightning,
Burning up my sky.

Hateful shame
Drops like rain
Aiming for my mind.

Enemy voices
Peal and roll
Thunder across with lies.

Good thing I brought my umbrella.

Bug’d

I’ve had a rough couple of days. It all started on July 4th.

My family and I had planned to enjoy the beach and chill in the late afternoon. The whole day until that point was relaxing and fun. Just relishing time off, watching Netflix and the occasional conversation. Then, around 5 pm, we headed to the beach. *cue the Jaws theme*

We got in the water and it was warm! So wonderful. Like bath temperature. It was awesome. We let the waves rock us back and forth in the shallow shoals and we searched for offshore seashell treasures (say that 10 times, fast) underwater.

My husband got out, it was a little too warm for him after a few minutes. My daughter and I stayed.

As he sat in the cool breeze and warm sun, a stranger approached. He was the friendly sort. From a distance, they looked like brothers. Salt and pepper hair and beards. Stocky frame. Too old guys chatting.

While they were small-talking, I found, with my big toe, a beautiful, rare-colored spiral in perfect condition. Beautiful dark brown and spiky top. it looked like it had been polished out of wood. I had to show Guy.

spiral

As I approached their group of two, I overheard their Guy talk. 🙂 Just weather and “Where ya from?”

I am dubious of most strangers, but I thought this extroverted chap was a bored/boring beach-goer making polite conversation. And then. The point emerges.

“Yeah, uh, are you all going to sit here for the fireworks?”

“Yeah!” Smile.

“Oh, yeah, uh, I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind, I was going to use the wood as my fireworks platform.”

“Oh.” WTF? His beach-boy, native-Floridian accent (think: potsmoker) suddenly got worse and his overall minute charm evaporated like a wisp of Florida rain clouds.

We were sitting near a wooden structure that supports a pipe. It’s our favorite spot. And this yahoo wanted to use it for his own personal fireworks launch pad. Which you’re probably not supposed to do since we have sea turtles on our beach. The noise and light will frighten and disorient them. They even paint over the condo lights on the beach side so they don’t get confused. And they were having the big boomers at the jetty just about a mile away. Some people.

I have to participate in the blowing up of stuff!

The round, wood pillars on the wooden structure, where we were sitting, act as little table tops right at chair height when the sand is tall and the pipe isn’t flowing.

When we first got to our beach a month ago, we wondered what the pipe was for. It was a little foreboding and we didn’t go near it. Being a land-locked country girl, pipes were usually for smokin’ or sewer waste. But then we figured, that pipe is probably for excess water runoff from the streets. So waste water, but! Relatively clean waste water. Why would the city of Venice pollute their own ocean? They wouldn’t. I know. Tourists! Land lubbers!

So, today, the pipe was not flowing (no rain for a coupla days) and it was full of sand. The hill was high and so, our favorite spot. And now this guy! He wants us to move? On our day to relax?

“My wife told me not to ask.”

Smart wife.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s fine. We’ll move down after my husband goes to work.” Guy had to work that night. Security never sleeps.

“Oh, shit, man, you have to work?? Oh, man, I’m sorry.” At least he was apologetic. For something.

“No big deal.”

And it wasn’t a big deal. Just a minor annoyance. Shoulda known. No one is that nice for no reason. Cynical, I know. But, in this case, it was true.

Then a storm blows in from the east. Right over our shoulders. Sudden shower. No lightning, so we ride it out. It stops after a few minutes. Cool. It was fun to sit in the rain on the Gulf. Something new! It was quite refreshing.

It was finally time for Guy to go in and shower before the fireworks. He had to go straight to work after the show. So we said our temporary goodbyes. Lilli and I stayed for a little while longer and watched the setting sun. I wanted to snap a few.

NO SD CARD! Ack! I forgot my SD card for my Nikon. I remembered to haul and protect my expensive digital cam to the beach and I forget the friggin’ SD card. I’m sucha dope. Oh well. Just enjoy the sunset.

Several minutes go by and another stronger storm, first storm’s big brother, whipped up and we heard the thunder. Bye! Couldn’t see the sun any more!

We high-tailed it back and sat under the carport in our neighbors’ parking lot. It was coming down hard and we still had several hundred yards to go. Plus, we needed to hose off (we have an outside shower and hose) before coming in, even though the downpour was shower-strength. Sand goes everywhere. Everywhere. Only the hose knows.

That was also fun. Knowing we were not in danger of being struck (Were we? I guess a little) and just watching the dark sky, clouds and rain come down. Waiting patiently for it to subside. And it did.

We hosed everything off: us, the cooler, our shoes. Thank you for your discretion, Hose! Then we headed up to sit on the porch. Resolved to miss the fireworks. It was a long day and IDC about fireworks. Plus, it wasn’t clear if the storm had passed.

We met our new neighbors on the second floor. They had just arrived and were opening their condo. She introduced herself and then her husband.

“Come on down. The fireworks start at 9 pm.”

And before I could explain that I knew, that my husband was going to work and that we were tired, she was beckoning again. “Come on! 9 pm! See ya there!”

“Sure!” Bye, Crazy. LOL

Guy was done and agreed with Neighbor Lady. We could probably make it and now the clouds had moved on.

“Okay.” I could not deny my eager family their fireworks fix.

So we go down to the beach. We stay back from the water, in the dunes, near the path. I get over 10 mosquito bites that won’t get aggressive for several days. They are just now blossoming into full-on Zika zaps. 😦 (Idk why skeeter bites wait for a few days to really itch!)

I don’t have Zika. Yet.

Then, my camera won’t pick up the fireworks, but I enjoy them anyway. There were clouds, miles off the coast, competing for the light show. Bursting with strikes, lighting up inside like a brain firing synapses. It was truly awesome.

<NO PIC TO SHARE, USE YOUR IMAGINATION> lol

Then we head back, say our goodbyes for the night and Guy goes on to work. Lilli and I head upstairs, she jumps in the shower and I proceed to get sick on the kitchen floor. Too much wine and Chex Mix. Plus, a long, warm day with warm skin and too much movement. Now I have to clean my kitchen floor, take a shower and clean the rest of my house. NO! I’m done! Plus, I’d already been cleaning my house earlier in the day. This day will never end!!! But it did.

I finish with everything about 1:30 and I crash hard. A very satisfying crash where your whole body relaxes upon hitting the sheets. And you know, you’re going right to sleep. Sore, but cozy. Warm, tingly skin from the sun and sore, tired muscles from working. Good night!

Then. Yesterday. I had an interview. It was at 10 am. I thought it was for 1 pm. I called to ask if I could still make it, but as soon as I heard her voice I knew. Don’t bother. They hung up on me. I think it was an accident, but I didn’t even attempt to call back.

I really screwed that up. That would have been for a cardiologist only a few blocks from our house. I don’t even know how I did that??

I’ve been busy. That’s my only excuse. But at some point, it felt like God saying, “Let it go.” So I did.

I feel so jumbled sometimes. There’s much to be doing now. I’m still unpacking. Looking for a job. Cooking, cleaning, juggling, writing! Rearranging our whole lives. Registering Lilli for school. Tags, license, grocery shopping. I start my driving job tonight.

I was supposed to start yesterday, but he called to say I wasn’t on their insurance yet and I might not start for another week. Shoot!

Just one of those things. We need that money, too.

But then he called just a few hours later to say the insurance company took care of it, rushed it through and I can start tonight. Phew. Good deal. Bacon saved.

Oh well. I’m still here. I’m still alive. I am thankful for busy-ness and chores. I am thankful for relationships and people. I am thankful for A job, if not THE job.

Please pray for me. I need it. I don’t want to screw up this job. I want to take it seriously and help people. But also, pray that I find the right job for my graphic design skills. Soon. Thanks.


Sometimes you find a shell with your big toe.
Sometimes you get zapped.