Dogs in Strollers Signal the End of Times

A repost. Because I just watched John Mulaney’s new Netflix special Kid Gorgeous and he talks about his dog stroller. I’ve lost all respect for you, John. Sigh. But you still make my whole family laugh. So. You got that goin’ for ya.


Do you suppose that at the height of any advanced civilization, pets were carted around in small chariots and worshipped? And then the civilization collapsed due to economic and political disaster? Egyptians, Romans, Mayans. America?? The sign of the end is animal worship IMO. LOL

I don’t know if it’s Florida, old people or Wal-mart, but the amount of small dogs in strollers is increasing. I just saw two Shih Tzus being walked in a stroller on our street on the way home this morning. I saw a Yorkie in a stroller at Wal-mart last week. North Korea has missile capability. The end is nigh. (Please remind me to never go to Wal-mart ever again. Even if they have the cheapest aprons for high school ceramic students in town.)

Seriously though, why stroll a dog? Isn’t the purpose of walking a dog that the dog actually gets exercise? God have mercy on our confused nation. I mean, I love dogs, but a baby stroller?? Please euthanize your dog if they are unable to walk any more. For God’s sake. If you are offended by this advice, you might be a dog-strolling Wal-mart shopper. Or from Florida.

For years I have openly laughed at neighbors standing in small, sad patches of grass behind their dog, watching said dog poop, relaxed with total apathy except for their anxious blue-gloved hand in permanent claw pose, waiting to scoop said poop. The dog always has a smirk or a smile, “I got this human to pick up my shit for free just because I lick his face when he walks in the door.” Or the dog looks totally strained or confused. “Why do I have to poop in front of everyone??”

Who’s in charge? Someone once famously said, “If aliens came to our planet, they would think dogs were in charge because we are picking up their poop!” Aliens would definitely think dogs are in charge if they saw us carting them around in a baby buggy. Gah!

Flooding in Texas. Increased earthquakes. Global climate change. Start prepping now. Actually it’s probably too late. Watch Red Dawn and buy a bottle of Tequila.

Advertisements

Sideways

This is a repost. Still like it.


There was a tentative crab
Crawling out to sun.
Dodging surf,
Sideways and unsure.

I could barely see
Against the sea,
But once I found him,
I couldn’t lose his shiny-gray body.

My head half-buried in the sand.
Body unmoved. Just my eyes.
And the light felt silvery as the sun was falling.
And my skin felt brown and warm in the silver.

GrayCrab skittered about, back and forth,
Picking up dark blades and sea offerings.
But then, he disappeared
As quickly as the shore.

Down his hole,
Back to his underground palace
Filled with treasure, shells, spells,
Beach snail friends, and wonderful tales.

See you later.

seeds of joy

from 2014:

i was sitting in the line to pick up my daughter from school in the late afternoon. i had the window down, the heater on my feet, music playing and these sweet little seedy puffs of some kind of flower came floating thru and past my window.

with the sun back-lighting the tiny puffs, the cool breezes over my ears, it was a moment of heaven. these are the moments that i hear God whispering to me.

“i’m here,” he says.

so special and wonderful. a moment of peace just for me. thank u God. happiness is in the little things.

i imagined the tiny puffs as a multitude of smiling fairies on their way to a party, waving hello to me. there were just a few to start and then they kept growing and flowing.

glad they didn’t make me sneeze or fly in my mouth. lol

happy.

Mini Canvas Shell Art

So, on my medical courier route, I met this really nice young woman. She’s a lab tech/nurse. She has a family, husband, young daughter, possibly more than one child. I don’t know her that well, but she’s been one of the kindest people I’ve met in Florida. Her birthday was earlier this month, but I just found out. She mentioned it in passing on another topic.

So. I made this for her.

mini canvas shell art.jpg

Do you think she’ll like it?

The size is only like 2″ x 2″. So those are tiny little shells.

I bought the frame for under $5? Possibly even $1. I don’t remember. Had it forever. And I found the shells on our beach. Painted the picture black (because it was hideous little, weird cacti in orange and green and brown, and not the good kind, gag!), epoxy’d shells to the canvas/cardboard insert backing thingie, and made a button hanger for the top. So this project was $5 or less. Crafty Beaver on the loose!

I hope my new acquaintance likes this small gesture and I hope I make a new friend! 🙂

Even if she is just my nicest route client (and we are never friend-friends), it’s nice to be nice to nice people.

How could you not want me as a friend? When I make cool stuff and give it to you? LOL 😉

Hope everyone has a great day and a great weekend!! Love you, Friends!

Do something stupid. Again.

I just wrote an article about doing something stupid a few weeks ago. And I’m about to do another stupid thing.

Deep breath.

I have scheduled an open mic night at the local comedy club down here. No backing out. Nov. 15th.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! What have I done? I can’t not do it now. I’m weak in the knees just thinking about it. Freaking out a little.

I will try and tape it.

I’m sweating. Hard to breathe.

What am I doing??? I’m going to drive myself crazy for the next month. I was just practicing what I would say in the car on the way home.

After thinking about my bucket list (from my article this morning), I said to my husband, “I want to do an open mic night.” He found the website, dialed the number, handed me the phone. What???

OHHH! I can’t believe he did that. But thank you, Guy. I just didn’t expect you to be so spontaneous. I like it. But now I’m scared pantless.

He’s been helping me craft material this morning. EEEEK!

Wish me luck!

Me Questions (If you care. If you don’t, I totally get it.)

The Lupie Momma nominated me for a question/award sesh. I really like these. It’s fun and a great way to know me, see my blog and see other people and what they’re writing about. I’m breaking the rules a bit and just tagging her. Go check out her stuff! Thank you, BTW!! I love these questions!

Here are my answers.

1: Who do you consider a role model (celebrity or not) and why?

Jesus. He’s the only one who got it right. Right?

2: If you only had 1 week to live what would you spend your time doing?

Cleaning. LOL No. I would go lay on the beach and imagine heaven. Which isn’t hard on the beach. So I guess I’m already doing that mostly?

3: What is your guilty pleasure?

21 Pilots. 😀 “…don’t know half of the abuse…”

4: The greatest thing you’ve ever done for someone without them asking?

Giving birth? LOL “I didn’t ask to be born, Mom!” JK She does not say that. She does not say that seriously, I should say. LOL She does say it in a dumb, emo teen voice tho, as a joke.

5: What are the Top 3 things on your bucket list?

Mop, Lysol, rag. Oh, you mean a pre-death wish list…um, Mile High Club?? LOL I would like to go to one of those open outdoor pools that are warm like the thing in Iceland. Is it Iceland? That would be cool. Or go to the Bahamas or some place even more tropical than Florida. I would like to be a missionary before I die.

6: Team Iphone or Team Galaxy?

Team Cheapest Smart Phone-Sunrise LG from Walmart. LOL

7: What is your favorite thing about this time of year?

The beach. 😀 I do miss leaves, warm drinks and the campfires of Missouri. :*

Ghosts of Venice

There are ghosts here in Venice. It’s kinda spooky.

Every morning I take my daughter to school. It’s twilight and difficult to see.

BTW, high schoolers should start school at 9 am for everyone’s sake. Can we just agree on that?

They say the hardest time to see while driving is at dawn and dusk. It’s true.

Very often people (old people) will be out walking or biking at dawn with little or no reflective gear. We are by the coast, so it can get pretty foggy. I almost hit an elderly walker nearly every morning. You can’t see them until you’re right on their geriatric bones.

I almost hit a biker this morning. He was dressed all in black, going against the light.

Lilli and I have started calling them ghosts. You can barely make out their faint images wandering the lonely streets of Venice. Pale skin, white hair, gray shirts, drifting in and out of the fog. Old people are almost ghosts anyway, right? LOL Just kidding.

I think some of these people-ghosts have a death wish. It is pretty scary.

 

Kitchen Detail

Do you have an immaculate, pristine kitchen fit for Better Homes & Gardens magazine? Decked out with island and butler’s pantry?

Or do you have a tiny, functional galley kitchen like mine? Clean, but well-worn?

Or do you have a seething portal to hell with dirty dishes stacked to the ceiling? Crawling with ants? Sticky floors and counters? Mice squatting in the corners? Jelly smeared into a hardened shellac on the floor? <<–(that happened at my former friend’s house, my husband had to wash his sock out, gah!)

What kind of kitchen are you?? If you could equate your kitchen to a celebrity or personality, who/what would it be?

Blade Runner 2049

Saw BR today. Totally worth it. Went to see it in IMAX. Also totally worth it. The sound was amazing. I won’t spoil it. All I’ll say–the solar fields of Los Angeles are sad and breathtaking all at the same time. Well done. It might surpass the original in cinematography alone.

So good! If you appreciate science fiction and detective novels, go see it.

One more thing, all the actors are superb IMO.

Ok, last thing, the script is masterful.

Therapy

Toes on the beach
Leaves me speechless
Lost in time
Clouds on the climb
Sky is reachless

Mind in the sand
Gives me bedrock
Found on the wave
Pain in the grave
Peace and joy in wedlock

Heart on the ocean
Takes my sorrow
Seeks a new story
Bottomless quarry
Mining the treasure of tomorrow