Thankful for Unreasonable Love

It’s hard for me to write these days. I don’t have extra time. But with Thanksgiving breathing down our wattles, I wanted to say a quick thank you to my husband.

My husband, Guy. He’s a rock. I know all women say that about their husbands. And some are referring to the stony outcropping of a lump that inhabits their sectional, but this man. This man is my rock.

He is the stone that I have built my adult life on. Over and over, my “home” has been torn down, ripped to the studs, overwhelmed by the storm and waves of PTSD, anxiety and mental/physical illness/addiction. My whole life seems like a chaotic whirl of emotion and pain. But in the middle of that whirl, the lighthouse I fix my course on, is Guy.

He’s brought me to Christ. He wouldn’t say that. He wouldn’t know that.

My mom taught me church, the Bible, what it meant to be a Christian, but my husband has drawn me to my knees in reliance on Christ.

We’ve had turmoil. We’ve had horrible fights. We’ve had almost 20 years of anger, bitterness and rage to conquer. But we’ve done that mostly hand in hand.

He’s supporting me in this crazy idea of mine, to go to Israel and help little children and elderly who use wheelchairs. He’s so excited for me. He has been my cheerleader throughout this whole process.

I’m so lucky and thankful to have such a passionate, caring, loving husband who desires me, cheers me, loves me and forgives me. A man who cares about my spiritual well-being as much as my physical and mental well-being. A man who cares about my being at all.

And gosh darn it, I just think he’s so handsome. That doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t. And some ladies might think I’m legally insane to swoon over this rock, but he’s just so gosh-darn kissable. His humor and charm make him irresistible to many.

I’m thankful that God made such a wonderful man, a man after my own heart, to pair me with. To make a child with. To grow up and old with. I’m so very lucky to have honesty, loyalty and love in my life.

Thank you, God. I rejoice this Thanksgiving for friends, family and my forever friend and partner, Guy. :*

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From the Ghost of Thanksgiving Past

from Thanksgiving 2013:

it would be very tempting to go buy a TV on black friday. there is a 50″ flat screen on Target for the holiday sales for only $229. walmart has one for $178-40″. this is cheaper than even their 32″, usually over $200. we don’t have a flat screen, we’ve got an old school tube tv and it is crazy heavy. but it’s 32″, in good condition and perfectly good enough.
i won’t support the holiday shopping that has become insane. i won’t support people being away from their families on thanksgiving. i won’t support the ever-increasing need to have more and more shit. i won’t support buying gifts for myself when others are in need. i won’t buy gifts for other people who don’t need anything. i have the money to buy a TV finally, at a good price, but i won’t expose my child to the ridiculous crowds assembled to fight each other for things. i won’t stand in line for hours upon hours to save a few dollars. i won’t buy into the hype.
what i will do is…stock a local food pantry that we had to use this year. be thankful for God’s providence. be thankful i’m not in jail becuz i just filed bankruptcy and in this beautiful country, just becuz i owe money i can’t pay, the gov’t. will allow me to have my debt forgiven even if we have had hard times, been sick or just plain reckless. i will be thankful that even tho i don’t have alot of money i have been able to stay at home with my child and be here for her. i don’t have to give up my child becuz i made a mistake. i can eat a thanksgiving meal with my family w/o sitting in jail for owing money.
i am not going to take for granted every single blessing i have including a TV that works. thankful that i don’t have to stand for hours in the cold to buy a TV i don’t need. thankful that i can spend the holiday with my family, enjoying each other’s company instead of fighting strangers over things and money. i wish more people would not shop on thanksgiving. you are supporting an entire industry that is only focused on getting more and more of your dollars.
i’m going to save my money this year becuz i might lose my house. i’m going to save my money for the move we might have to make. i’m going to do the responsible thing for once and live like Dave Ramsey says. i’m going to live with eternity in mind, not focus on what i can shove in my face, cram in my eyes and muddle up in my mind. i’m not going to focus on material possessions this year. i’m going to focus on God’s ever-present benevolence and grace on my poor, undeserving soul.


who woulda thought i would be in florida in 4 years time?? with a flat screen. 😀 still saving and pinching those pennies.

1st Amendment or: Why I Celebrate Thanksgiving

US Constitution, Bill of Rights, Amendment 1
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.


Plain-talk pilgrims punished for passion
Simple ways and modest fashion
Boiling it down to what’s important
All things under Heaven subordinate

Lost forever to their motherland
Radical devotion to the Father’s right hand
Known for their annoying zeal
But, oh, to have an ounce of the fervor they feel

Concerned for the future, they left for the wild
Believing to be the obedient child
They lost half, nothing but an epitaph
Yielding to Divination and the Shepherd’s staff

And yet they endured.

On to 1776, our fathers feared for rights
Fought fiercely for freedom beneath the rampart lights
By 1787, we agreed to the essential list
No government should ever rule by sword, or gun, or fist

We may speak and worship how we choose
Humbly honor each other’s views
Gather where we will and please
Carry the jangling links of Liberty’s keys

So today I celebrate the birth of religious choice
I am thankful to live in a country where I can raise my singular voice
I will honor that by being kind and listening to others sing
And rejoice with Thanksgiving at the sound of Freedom’s ring

And yet we endure.

I acknowledge the bloody history of the past, the almost-elimination of the Native American, the withholding of rights for minorities, but on this foundation, we can strive for something better. Uphold the spirit of the law, if not the letter. And the spirit is to offer freedom to everyone, the way in which Christ offers freedom to me. Amen.


Happy Thanksgiving from sunny Florida! Enjoy.

Gratitude

November has officially become a month-long thankful pack of sticky notes on Facebook. That’s great. Truly. But what about the other 11 months? 🙂

So I hesitate to join, but. I will.

I am thankful for so much. But this Thanksgiving, I am deep-down, toes-to-tassel thankful for my life.

Since 2012, and really before that, I have been sick. Heart failure. Twice. Thyroid cancer. Gastric bypass. Gallbladder failure.

And now, 226 lbs lighter, I feel better than I’ve ever felt in my entire life. Even when I was young. Mainly because I also feel emotionally better. It feels like all the sickness is finally gone. I can just tell.

For years I struggled with a failing GB. Probably a decade, in hindsight. Also, I probably had a thyroid issue my entire life because I have been overweight from a young age.

Mom always said, “You were born hungry.” A mother knows. Just wish she could have told or shown the doctors where to look. Nonetheless, this was my destiny.

I am thankful for my trouble. It has taught me endurance.

James 1:2-4 NASB

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

(Perhaps missing/lacking a few organs, but otherwise, lacking in nothing. LOL)

It has also taught me humility. Patience. Joy. Peace. Understanding. Wisdom. Tolerance. So many things.

Under any other circumstances, would I be the person I have finally come to love entirely? I don’t know. God didn’t do this to me. But he knew how far I could go. He knew the traps. He knew the joys. He knew how strong I could be with him.

I truly did not think it was possible. To see 287.6 lbs again. That’s what I was yesterday afternoon, on the scale. I did not think it was possible to live past the age of 50. I did not think it was possible to ever feel right again. Out of pain. Able to walk. Able to work.

One year ago, I was preparing for surgery. High-protein diet to shrink my liver. Thanksgiving was the last day I could eat. I savored it. Thinking it might be my last tasty morsel before a lifetime of bland, tiny meals. Or worse. My last meal before operation table disaster. Dying.

But I made it. I made it to the next Thanksgiving. How wonderful to be on the other side. Maybe that’s what it’s like to go to Heaven. Thankful to be done and home at last.

Home again, home again, jiggity jig.

Maybe this is what I needed for this ultra-thick head. Maybe this was my come-to-Jesus moment. Maybe this was my “fall on my knees because I have nothing left.”

I’m by no means done. I am just beginning again. And I am so thankful just to be alive. And 287. 🙂


Only 87 lbs to goal!!! 😀