Mrs. Clean

I am a poet, writer, actor, artist, creative, whatever. But I’m also a HOUSEWIFE! Super housewife, to be precise. I am a super-clean freak which no one would know because you can’t come in my house. Germs! Dirt! Shoes! Get out.

I had to talk myself down off the ledge of fanaticism a few years ago. I saw a commercial for a laundry detergent.

“Living brings it in.” It being dirt.

Fine! You’re right. Life is messy and I can’t make my daughter feel like a surgeon prepping for a heart bypass. But. I still have issues.

BUT! I have a damn clean house. 🙂

If I let you in the door, you could eat off the floor. DON’T!! Gah! What’s wrong with you? Get out.

Anyway, my penchant for neatness is an occasional (constant) sticking point for my husband. STICKY, EW! He would rather relax and not worry so much about dirt touching things, but I can’t let everything go. I have some pools of worry left over and I can’t seem to stop swimming in them every now and then.

BUT! I couldn’t care less about the bathtub. I clean the bathroom sink once a week, the toilet every few weeks, and the bathtub…NEVER! It takes me a few months to get around to the tub. Okay, 6 months. It doesn’t get real funky and I do wash the shower curtain every month or so. So, today, I cleaned the tub because it was kind of funky. Soap-scummy. A little cakey.

I hate getting down on my hands and knees to scrub the tub. That’s probably why I leave it. And no, I don’t want to use the shower spray to elongate my clean time. I just don’t care.

Wanna know a great way to clean your tub with no effort, you lazy housekeepers??! Buy an inexpensive bottle of toilet cleaner. Yes! Toilet cleaner.

Splurb some on the sides and bottom of the tub, wait 2-5 hours on the couch while you blog and eat bon-bons, then take your toilet brush and give it a little scrub. I sat on the side of the tub, and with my longer-handled brush, didn’t have to stoop or bend as much. Clean as a whistle!! Dang! Me likey.

You know the bottom of the tub that has a non-slip surface? Well, over time the non-slip can become slippy-slip. Well, it becomes less non-slip over time from soap, dead skin (EW!) and other slippery shower materials becoming lodged in the rough, textured floor. Well, our’s is rough again! Crazy clean. You will not slip in this shower/tub. Mainly because I won’t let you in my house. Why are you showering in my tub? Get out.

Try it! You might be surprised. By how much you don’t have to work.

NOTE: This toilet bowl cleaner did discolor my tub stopper slightly. It was chrome, now it’s a goldish color. Oh well! It’s clean gold. Plus, it didn’t discolor the metal ring around the tub drain. So?? Don’t know why the stopper discolored. Probably a cheaper material. Take your drain plug out if you like. Then use something plastic to stop up the tub so you don’t lose your cleaner while it’s soaking. Good luck!

Can’t wait to tub it without getting even dirtier.

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340s

Today, I am 347.6 lbs. I am still steadily losing weight almost every day. There are some days that I don’t lose anything. Those days, however, are few and far between.

I went in for weight loss surgery last December 2016 and since then, I’ve managed to lose 109 lbs. That feels great. Since August 2012, I’ve dropped 166 total. Plus, I’m only 4 1/2 months in. Can you imagine 1 year from now??

It may seem like a pretty standard thing to most people, but at my heaviest, I lost my ability to take a relaxing bath. I always take a shower every day, but occasionally, it’s nice to have a soak. And at 500 lbs, it wasn’t a luxury I could indulge.

So, this last Tuesday, after freezing my toes off most of the day, I thought to try a nice hot bath to warm up. My body temperature is hard to regulate with no thyroid and rapid weight loss. My extremely remote appendages are typically frigid. So, I could either vigorously exercise, throw on a pair of socks or relax in a steamy pool of life-altering suds. Bath it is!

And you know what? I fit. I fit nicely in the tub. With water! More than just a drop! Ain’t that great? I thought so. It was an ordinary achievement in a routine day, but it meant the world to be in the tub again. These small things are what excite me the most.

I can’t wait to fly again! If and when I can afford it. 🙂 Until then, I’ll fly high on my little daily wins.