Done

Where do I begin?
Arriving here at echo’s end
Addiction strikes at the hearts of men
Stabs at the particulars of then
Wishing for what wouldn’t have been
Cover my ears at the deafening din
Sickening twinge of crawling skin
Swirling aversion to carnival ride spin
Falling smack on pavement’s grin
Forget the times of remembering when
You were never faithful, Friend
You were plastic and porcelain
Intemperate as the warping wind
I’m tired of taking hits on the chin
The problem lies within, therein
Buttoned-up so you won’t break in
It’s not a matter of who will win
I simply won’t come to this again
I wash my hands of this selfish sin

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FOMO or YOLO?

They told me to go home.
Be quiet.
Stop whining.
Make money.
Wake up.
Put it to bed.
Stop hurting.
Graduate.
Fix crazy.
Be loved.
Get married.
Buy a house.
Get well.
Don’t smoke, eat, drink, do drugs, have sex.
Be realistic.
Not idealistic.
But they didn’t show me how to help myself or others.
At 16, I wanted to travel the world helping others, working hard, meeting people.
Loving people.
They told me to stop being myself.
I finally said, “No.”

Girl Bye

You think I’m quiet
Powerless and weak
There is technically a difference
Between shy and meek

Meek is power
Under control
I choose to be this way
Restraint is my goal

Don’t mistake my silence
As consent to your little show
I’m also choosing to love you
Having patience before I go

And go I will.

Gift of Words

Double haiku (acrostic no less!) from my husband for my birthday, 2018:

My wife, my whole life,
Always caring and serving,
Redeems me through grace.

Talented artist
Heals hearts with wisdom and prose;
Ageless beauty, she.


Poem for my birthday from my husband, 2017:

Today is her birthday.

She didn’t ask for much –

just some flowers and nice words.

She never asks for much –

just the hardest things for me give:

patience

kindness

compassion

tenderness…

simple gifts that cost nothing

but my ego and pride

which I, shamefully,

have treasured more than gold.

For forty and four sun-cycles

she has lived;

I’ve known her for nineteen of them

and lived with her

longer than any other –

even my own family.

She is

a writer, poet, teacher, and mother

my closest family and confidant.

She has

loved, honored, and stayed with me

even when I have not been

loving, honorable, or companionable.

Today is her birthday.

She doesn’t ask for much

just some flowers

and nice words

and the hardest gift for me to find:

to be a better man.

She deserves the best.


Thank you, honey. You know words are my favorite gift. :* Thank you,

eternal

i am thrown on the fire
i am the crackle in the night
i am the spark that pops
with firecracker light

i am scattered to the wind
start from scratch again

fall through cracks
down to seed and root
spread my desire
until you see my shoots

i will rise to the sky
stretched high and wide

you pause in my shadow
you linger in my shade
i offer you protection
shelter where you’ve laid

i was born in this ground
cut down where i’m found

i am thrown on the fire
i am the crackle in the night
i will always burn
but not without a fight

 

Vengeance is Mine

Move on.
Let go.
Live well.
Headline your own show.

Drop toxic.
Choose good.
Forget the score.
Do what you should.

The crowds paid to see
What and who YOU are.
You are the talent.
You’re the brilliant star.

Those extras didn’t have chops
They only ever clung
Hangers on, haters gone
It was your name brightly hung

Don’t apologize
For putting yourself first.
Where would they put themselves
If the situation reversed?

Girl, bye.

Kneel

You tried to take a bite
Outta my ripped-up chest
But you didn’t expect my heart
To start over beyond arrest

This heart bites back
King-Kong and savage breast
This organ’s on fire
Sharp teeth and hot protest

Underestimated
Decimated
Halfway hated
Unabated

Still beating
Never retreating
Resolve concreting
Done competing

You can’t kill a thing
That has a life all its own
This heart could topple buildings
Take on the world alone

Break these chains
Swat down planes
Swallow old pains
Stitch these veins

Back from the dead
Alive and on the prowl
Climb to the top of my life
Deep-bellied, fierce flung howl

My turn.

Monster muscle
Full of fury
Impatient for love
Heart’s in a hurry

Scoop up affection
Stare at its silvery shape
Wonder what it’s like
To be anything but an ape

I’ve waited too long to be worshipped.
Kneel.